We are racing into the time of the year when the car feels like it’s in warp speed, making stops all over town and creating stress with every winter storm and red light. Let’s take a moment to check ourselves as we head into this holiday with a positive attitude and a plan to keep things manageable (and enjoyable!) When [...]
PRACTICE: My Community Visualization Reassurance is important for all of us, but especially for those of us who are ambivalently attached. Keep this in mind if you have an important person in your life who lives with the ambivalent adaptation. Reassurance and staying in regular contact—through email, texts, or phone calls—calms an over-activated attachment system like nothing else. This doesn’t [...]
Have you ever heard the saying, “Your thoughts become your reality?” Why is it that our thoughts so easily turn toward criticism and find it so difficult to appreciate what and who we have? This phenomenon manifests most in our closest relationships, our partners in particular. One school of thought is that we imagine situations and outcomes throughout the day, [...]
How traumatic events can break our vital connections—and how to restore love, wholeness, and resiliency in your life. From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, [...]
Resilience can reduce suffering, provide meaning, and make sense of tragedy. In short, resilience can give you strength in the face of adversity and loss. What Is Resilience? To define resilience simply, we might use synonyms such as “toughness” or “adaptability” to clarify the meaning. For people who have suffered tragedy, trauma, or particularly emotional events strung together in agonizingly [...]
Disorganized attachment represents the most complex attachment adaptation, which also means the most difficult to recognize and treat in therapy. Signs of Disorganized Attachment 1. Negative Self-Image – Disorganized attachment often manifests as low self-esteem and a negative view of the world as untrustworthy or chaotic. 2. Erratic Behavior – It is common for adults with disorganized attachment to view [...]
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