Slide 1 – So, this is a quick review… Secure attachment: • positive enough holding environment creates basic trust • parents are present, protective, contingent, available, respectful of boundaries, right? Space… • parents take the position of being master regulators of the household; the adult couple regulating each other and regulating their kids out of that [...]
We are now a few weeks into the new year. It’s notoriously the time when resolutions begin to fall by the wayside, and that inner critical voice starts shaming you for failing. Many people talk about resolutions like they are a joke – because they often are. Based on unrealistic dramatic changes, resolutions give way to [...]
Many people view the New Year as a blank slate or a fresh start. If you are someone who has dealt with attachment injury, you might face additional obstacles. Fortunately, whether you are 23 or 93, you are designed to heal and can always bring more secure attachment into your life. As with any pursuit, developing [...]
We are racing into the time of the year when the car feels like it’s in warp speed, making stops all over town and creating stress with every winter storm and red light. Let’s take a moment to check ourselves as we head into this holiday with a positive attitude and a plan to keep things [...]
PRACTICE: My Community Visualization Reassurance is important for all of us, but especially for those of us who are ambivalently attached. Keep this in mind if you have an important person in your life who lives with the ambivalent adaptation. Reassurance and staying in regular contact—through email, texts, or phone calls—calms an over-activated attachment system like [...]
Have you ever heard the saying, “Your thoughts become your reality?” Why is it that our thoughts so easily turn toward criticism and find it so difficult to appreciate what and who we have? This phenomenon manifests most in our closest relationships, our partners in particular. One school of thought is that we imagine situations and [...]
How traumatic events can break our vital connections—and how to restore love, wholeness, and resiliency in your life. From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a [...]
Resilience can reduce suffering, provide meaning, and make sense of tragedy. In short, resilience can give you strength in the face of adversity and loss. What Is Resilience? To define resilience simply, we might use synonyms such as “toughness” or “adaptability” to clarify the meaning. For people who have suffered tragedy, trauma, or particularly emotional events [...]
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