Video 3: Keep Your Seat
The previous video emphasized language as a way to help your clients move past trauma. If you've ever found yourself relating to your client's personal challenges, you'll find this video especially helpful. In this third video, I answer the following questions: 1) How do you “keep your seat,” or stay grounded, when a client hits something close to home? 2) [...]
Module 4-1: Intro to Disorganized Attachment (Disoriented or Type D)
Overview of Secure, Avoidant and Ambivalent It’s important to understand Avoidant and Ambivalent before we jump into Disorganized because it’s actually kind of a combination of both of those disturbances. Think of Secure Attachment as modulated - kind of "in the middle" where you have some yearning to bond but also some comfortable autonomy, and neither one is stressful. So, [...]
Video 2: Moving Forward In Time
In the first video, we explored how to speak to each attachment style with your clients. In this video, we'll look at some ways to help your clients move forward in time. Trauma stops time, and when clients have a trauma history, they may carry fears associated with the traumatic event for years after—as if they're experiencing the event all [...]
Teaching Attachment: It’s a Human Journey
When I think about teaching attachment—I feel this way about trauma, too—it’s a human journey issue. I don’t know if you can be on the planet very long before something is going to hit you one way or the other, and it would be really helpful to know how to move through those things. There is a lot of great [...]
Video 1: Language of Attachment
In this first video, I address how you can speak to each attachment style with your clients. Avoidant Adoption Attachment - How to emphasis other and give up addiction for being alone. Importance of including other. Ambivalent Attachment - Unpredictability for the baby when getting inconsistent love response from parents. Over focus on other. Help them have more sense of [...]
Take Your Practice to the Next Level in 2015!
We all may know that we are neurobiologically designed for Secure Attachment but the critical question is: How do we help our clients return there if they did not hit the jackpot by starting out with it in the first place? It is often said, it is much easier to learn a theory than to put one into practice. We might have read [...]
Attachment in an Anti-relational Culture
I’m very interested in attachment as I feel that our culture has become a bit too anti-relational. We are still so embedded in being pioneer individualists and autonomists, and there's a little overdose of that. Those are good things to have, but an overdose means sometimes we are so into the Self that we are not into the mutuality of [...]
Strengthen Relationships with Repair
Being perfect is not so important because you are not going to be, anyway. It's not going to happen; you’re going to make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes. And, there is no way around it, but if you learn to be skillful with repair, you can actually have a stronger relationship after a mistake, because repair is very, very [...]
How Well Does ‘Your’ Attachment Work with Others?
Anytime you are with another person, attachment is operating. Anytime somebody walks in your office as a client, your attachment system comes into play, whether you realize the impact of that or not. And there are just two people, so the more you get a chance to check out what your own situation is—and maybe move more closely to secure [...]