In this first video, I address how you can speak to each attachment style with your clients.

Avoidant Adoption Attachment – How to emphasis other and give up addiction for being alone. Importance of including other.

Ambivalent Attachment – Unpredictability for the baby when getting inconsistent love response from parents. Over focus on other. Help them have more sense of self.

Disorganized – Focus in beginning on safety to help regulate. Bring in strong protector. Create body-felt sense of safety and relaxation.

I greatly enjoyed making these videos for you and would love your feedback! Please comment below.




  1. Janae Munday, LCSW January 22, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Thank-you Diane for these great videos!

  2. Linda January 20, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    Thank you so much for this concise, clear information! We need this in the Tucson/Phoenix area ~ will your DARe training come this way?

  3. Thressa Newell January 19, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Thank you for the very specific information. I often feel that it’s the nitty gritty, concrete information that I need. The theory I get, but sometimes I just like having the words put in my mouth at the right moment. Thressa

  4. Annette Knopp January 19, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Thank you so much, Diane! Sooo helpful for my work with clients. I have been studying with your DVD’s and am looking forward to meeting you in person in Cologne for DARe 3. warmest wishes, Annette

  5. rachel January 19, 2015 at 7:55 am

    wow that’s great . Good questions in such a short clip. Thanks

  6. Tanya Fisher January 19, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Thank you so much…very helpful and easy to apply, I really look forward to more!

  7. Elena January 18, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Thanks for keeping me in the loop, Diane. Is there a *place* where these little nuggets remain accessible past the first few weeks?

    Feedback about Ambivalents…help them have more sense of self–I literally cannot grasp how you would do that. And speaking for my sense of self–I do not like my sense of myself–how to do address that!?

    Will watch it again right now.

  8. Jackie January 17, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    I so appreciate both your tender understanding and succinct way of explaining the essence of working with attachment strategies. Much gratitude 🙂

    • Stephanie January 19, 2015 at 10:42 am

      You are very welcome. Agreed, with gratitude brings every day thankfulness for all things in life.

  9. Isobel Terry January 17, 2015 at 5:11 am

    Thank you for sharing this ….so helpful for myself personally and for working with others. I really appreciate that you share this Diane.

  10. Louise January 16, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    Very, very helpful Diane. I’ve been practicing for over 25 years and am very excited about the material I am learning from you. These concrete languaging tips help me bring this learning into my client sessions easily and organically. What you teach is clear and easy for me to understand and my primary objective is to integrate the information into my sessions to assist my clients. Keep ’em coming. Thank you.

  11. Claudia January 15, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    Thank you, Diane. I can say from both my own point-of-view and my experience that this is spot on and particularly the explanation that persons with ambivalent attachment style tend to abandon themselves, has been very helpful for me.

  12. Linda Bannerman, MA, LMHC January 15, 2015 at 6:34 am

    Diane, I am so grateful! What a wonderful resource you have been and this video is no exception. It is concise and yet full of very specific, helpful information. Your suggestions are easily followed and, based on each time I have tried your suggestions with clients, really work! You have a warm presentation style as well. Thank you for your generous contributions to our field.

  13. Eva Cohaus January 15, 2015 at 5:05 am

    Thank you, Diane! Succint, uplifting, clear – just you!

  14. Doris Mueller January 15, 2015 at 3:28 am

    This languaging was tought very clear in your DARE classes…

    and it´s always good to hear it again and

    really get inspired by your alert and warm personality –

    thank you Diane

  15. Jessica January 15, 2015 at 2:00 am

    Thank you very much for this short but very impressive input. It widend my perspective again…

  16. Alicia January 14, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    This is very helpful, Diane. . . both the content and your warmth and nurture. Gives so much hope for healing. Thank you!

  17. Justus January 14, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    Thank you for these very helpful tips on languaging for different clients. Spot on.

  18. Sharon J. January 14, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Thank you Diane

    This is inspiring me to develop a greater understanding of attachment and thereby help my clients to grow.

    Warm regards
    I only wish you would come to Sydney again.

  19. Robin January 14, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Thank you Diane, while listening and re-listening to the clip, a number of clients sprang to mind. Very useful reminder about reaching out to clients with their unconscious language in my mind!

  20. Mari January 14, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    Thank you, Diane, for reminding me of the very helpful tips in working with clients. It’s always wonderful to be reminded of specific language to use with the three attachment adaptations. I’m inspired to use those tips in my sessions tomorrow:-)

  21. Angie Puffelis January 14, 2015 at 11:18 am

    Thank you for the short videos. I always look forward to your video clips. How about a book? Are you planning in writing one anytime soon? And, have your planned a training in San Diego CA?

  22. Catherine, SEP, Sebastopol, CA January 14, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Thank you Diane for your clarity in articulating the language differences of each attachment style. What is striking for me is how much you reflect this work underneath your words. That’s what makes you such a good teacher and mentor.

  23. Helen Sharwood January 14, 2015 at 9:25 am

    Diane I am seeing just how this interactive sharing on line from your website is shaping such clear words about this vital topic I appreciate greatly your demonstration of secure attachment to us out here and learn so much in such concentration from your videos
    I do hope you will make it out to Sydney Australia within a couple of years

  24. Susanne January 14, 2015 at 9:17 am

    So delightful feeling your resilience and warm smile and is contagious and inspiring no matter what the topic is.

  25. Shirley Impellizzeri January 14, 2015 at 8:55 am

    Thank you! Very helpful!!

    • Diane Heller January 14, 2015 at 10:03 am

      So happy you can use it — hopefully right away! Warmly Diane

  26. Sandy Carter, LPC January 14, 2015 at 7:54 am

    Thank you, Diane, for providing what it sounds like to have unconscious needs spoken to. I felt myself responding to the rationale of why we say what we do. I also felt empowered to bring this to the clients who most need it.

    • Diane Heller January 14, 2015 at 8:55 am

      Empowerment for your mission as therapist and spreading it to our clients is key! Heals the power wound underneath so many issues.

      Warmly diane

  27. AnnaMaria Life Coach The Netherlands January 14, 2015 at 7:45 am

    Thanks Diane, your explanation very helpful. Short, but very clear about what the gist of the approach to use is.

    • Diane Heller January 14, 2015 at 8:53 am

      Yes, really helps to have the right mindset! Hello to the Netherlands for me! Will be teaching there in Oct 2015! Warmly diane

  28. Sally C January 14, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Wow–thank you! What a useful little nugget about specific languaging! As usual, you present ideas and recommendations in an accessible way and in a way that both references previous learning and invites fresh connections. I appreciate your making these brief talks available.

    • Diane Heller January 14, 2015 at 8:52 am

      Really fun for me too! I learn alot when we explore these topics too! Warmly diane

Comments are closed.