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About Diane Poole Heller

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So far Diane Poole Heller has created 151 blog entries.

3 Behaviors That Contribute to Avoidant Attachment Injury

Those of us who are Avoidantly Attached tend to avoid emotional challenges by avoiding them – either checking out mentally or even walking away. If you or someone you love lives with Avoidant Adaptation, you might be wondering where and how this developed. Avoidantly Attached individuals often did not have their needs met as children, either [...]

3 Reasons to Attend DARe Live Trainings This Summer

We scheduled three of our four DARe live trainings this summer, including DARe 1: Healing Early Attachment Wounds, the prerequisite for all other DARe trainings. These summer courses occur quickly in succession to make travel convenient for our participants. With the availability of DVD and online coursework, attending live trainings may seem unnecessary. Live trainings do, [...]

Is Insecure Attachment Ruining Your Sex Life?

Perhaps one of the most complex aspects of long-term relationships is sexual satisfaction because of factors such as imbalance of desire (real or perceived), pressure, power, shame, and partners' Attachment styles. Securely Attached – Attuned and Receptive While challenges such as an imbalance of desire can still impact sexual satisfaction in Securely Attached couples, they often [...]

Video Blog: Diane on Oprah and Childhood Trauma

Please take a moment to watch Diane's video blog about the 60 Minutes episode with Oprah that is helping to bring global awareness brought to the important topic of childhood trauma. Childhood trauma does not end in childhood, but often follows us into adulthood and casts a dark shadow on our adult relationships. Trauma-Informed Care (TIC) [...]

Attachment Parenting – Parents and Attachment

It’s amazing how quickly the awareness of Attachment theory, and specifically Attachment parenting, is growing. Try typing in #attachmentparenting and see how many results you get. Attachment parenting is a wonderful way to approach healthy childhood development, but what about parents’ Attachment needs? It will be more effective to address your own Attachment wounds first. By [...]

Life’s Before-and-After: Trauma That Divides

Before and After Trauma Anyone who has experienced trauma understands that life becomes divided into life before and life after the traumatic experience. A recent Modern Love article from the New York Times illustrated the dramatic impact that trauma has on one’s life – especially when ignored. A study in Japan, which included MRIs of students [...]

Understanding Learned Helplessness

Explained in 1965 by Martin Seligman, learned helplessness is characterized by feeling unable to alter outcomes despite taking action to do so. Though Seligman’s research involved dogs, continuing studies related learned helplessness to human behavior. Repeated exposure to a negative experience or trauma that results in the belief that the situation will not change no matter [...]

3 Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic (and Gain Secure Attachment)

Even if you are a cheerleader for your loved ones, you might be overly critical of yourself. Your inner critic will override all accomplishments and milestones you achieve if you let it. We often speak to ourselves so cruelly, using language we would never talk to another person. Secure Attachment and the Inner Critic Silencing your [...]

What Is DARe?

DARe (Dynamic Attachment Re-patterning experience) is a series of live or recorded programs designed to help individuals and therapists gain a competent understanding of Attachment theory, Attachment disruptions, and healing methods to repair Attachment injury and trauma. DARe consists of four modules. The first module is a pre-requisite for all others because it contains the foundational [...]

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are So Hard to Keep

If you have ever set a New Year’s resolution, you have probably noticed that by February, the momentum of your original motivation begins to wane or disappears altogether. Professor Peter Herman of the University of Toronto explains that our expectations when making New Year’s resolutions are often unrealistic and out of alignment with how we see [...]

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