QUICK START TIPS and Goals for Integrating Module 4(DISORGANIZED/DISORIENTED/TYPE D) Into Your Lifeand PracticeGoals: Safety First Then Mobilization from Immobilization ASAP! Installing a “Competent Protector”: Watch this Cougar vs. Bear Cub video It helps to reinforce the reality of “protective energy” to remind the client that ultimately the baby bear will be alright (There's an excellent surprise [...]
One of the things that I find interestingly helpful when somebody is really stuck in what I call a "rage cycle" and I mean really stuck in it, is to ask them, “Is this Integrating for you or is it Disintegrating?” And, so far almost everybody has been able to answer that question. If they [...]
In the last video, we talked about disorganized attachment in individuals. This time I'll answer your questions about dealing with couples when both partners have a disorganized attachment pattern. This final video will cover topics including: 1) How disorganized attachment develops 2) Down-regulating yourself and your partner 3) Spending individual time with each partner in a [...]
Imagine you are looking out into the world and seeing kind eyes looking back at you. Perhaps you remember a time you showed up unexpected at a friend’s door, and they opened the door truly delighted to see YOU! What happens in and around your eyes, your body, your emotional state? This guy, the Dalai Lama, has been [...]
Our last video offered some ways for you to stay centered when things get challenging in a therapy session. In this video we'll take a closer look at disorganized attachment‒one of the more challenging and complex attachment styles to work with! The top two questions I address include: 1) How do you work with a "borderline" [...]
Avoidants want someone in the house—just not in the same room! Expertly noted by Dr. Stan Tatkin throughout this blog from his publication: I Want You In The House, Just Not In My Room... Unless I Ask You: The Plight of The Avoidantly Attached Partner in Couples Therapy. The other thing that’s a hallmark for an [...]
The previous video emphasized language as a way to help your clients move past trauma. If you've ever found yourself relating to your client's personal challenges, you'll find this video especially helpful. In this third video, I answer the following questions: 1) How do you “keep your seat,” or stay grounded, when a client hits something [...]
Overview of Secure, Avoidant and Ambivalent It’s important to understand Avoidant and Ambivalent before we jump into Disorganized because it’s actually kind of a combination of both of those disturbances. Think of Secure Attachment as modulated - kind of "in the middle" where you have some yearning to bond but also some comfortable autonomy, and neither [...]
In the first video, we explored how to speak to each attachment style with your clients. In this video, we'll look at some ways to help your clients move forward in time. Trauma stops time, and when clients have a trauma history, they may carry fears associated with the traumatic event for years after—as if they're [...]
When I think about teaching attachment—I feel this way about trauma, too—it’s a human journey issue. I don’t know if you can be on the planet very long before something is going to hit you one way or the other, and it would be really helpful to know how to move through those things. There is [...]