Happy holidays! Though this is a season of festivities for many, it can also be a stressful time that invites unwelcome triggers to your table. For the upcoming holidays, let’s focus on transformation and welcoming the joy of Secure Attachment to our celebration.
You may find the challenges and practices below useful.
Attachment Style – Avoidant
Challenges during this time may include feeling overwhelmed by activity and others joining your celebration. Planning an escape route to spend some time alone may provide relief from the bustling activities.
If you would like to practice coming out of your Avoidant Attachment style, here are some ways you can emerge from isolation:
Practice being present with loved ones
Pay close attention to others’ needs
Engage personally with friends and family
Focus on what might be the perfect gift for each person
Enjoy the love and nourishment you can gain from loved ones
Practice sustained eye contact
Attachment Style – Ambivalent
If you tend toward the Ambivalent Attachment style, you probably already possess hyper-awareness of the needs of others. You purchased the perfect gifts and worked yourself into exhaustion, making the holidays special for everyone you love. Your challenge is likely that you have likely forgotten to take care of YOU.
Practice diligent self-care
Remember to relax regularly
Delegate some of the chores and cooking
Save time for play and fun for yourself
Take a time out to refuel
Remembering to care for yourself, your joy, and your needs during the holidays will help you enjoy the season without becoming physically and emotionally bankrupt.
Attachment Style – Disorganized
The holidays can provide a number of mixed emotions for the Disorganized Attachment style, especially if you are spending it with your family of origin, who may have caused some of your pain.
Planning for triggers can help you avoid falling into old patterns. Some triggers you could encounter include: excessive drinking, loud talking or yelling, and even abusive language.
Some ways to plan for triggers include:
Meet at a neutral location, like a restaurant
Choose to stay in a hotel
Take a partner or friend to the celebration for support
You may simply decide to spend your holiday with your chosen family instead, alleviating the stress and bringing joy back to holidays for yourself.
For each of you, choosing to practice at least one skill toward Secure Attachment may deliver more nourishment and wonder to your holidays and your relationships.
Bring in the new year powerfully and consider joining us for one of our live trainings.