Multitasking might not be not as desirable a skill as we are led to believe. Many people are proud of their ability to multitask, but maybe not such a great thing. It’s bad for the brain and interferes with our ability to truly focus.
Research from Stanford University revealed that people who multitask are less efficient and more distracted than those who don’t tend to multitask. After we are interrupted, it takes at least fifteen minutes to regain our focus.
Instead of seeing how many things we can do at once, we should focus on the pleasure of undivided attention. How good it feels to do just one thing at a time, and be fully present for that experience.
Becoming more present in our relationships is what I call our ability to expand our presence relationally. How rare is it to allow ourselves to be 100% with another person, to send them the clear message “I am here for you.”
When I go visit my 92-year-old mother these days, I make all my phone calls either early in the morning or after she goes to bed. I clear my slate of technology. Before I depart, I leave little things around the house for her to find, sort of like a treasure hunt. She knows that I am with her one-hundred percent, even after I am gone she can feel my attention. It has done wonders for our relationship. Our lives fly by so quickly, we really can’t afford to miss these moments, particularly with aging parents and young children.
Attachment Gaze is a critical way we feed and enhance our bond with those close to us. When you catch a beam Gleam from someone you love that tells you that you are special to them and that that special look is just for you it opens out heart and gives us gourmet contact nutrition.
Try it for yourself: give whoever you are with five minutes of your undivided attention. See what has the potential to unfold.