Let’s explore the territory of what happens in secure connection when you successfully embody it. When you are settled in the safe haven of Secure Attachment, you have the capacity for presence, you are protective of yourself and your relationship, and you enjoy playfulness with your partner and kids.
With Secure Attachment as your base, your brain is more integrated and expansive as both hemispheres work well together.
- You are more regulated and unflappable
- Your immune system works better
- You have a natural resistance to PTSD
- You recover from conflicts more easily and rarely hold grudges
- You know how to repair mis-attunements with your loved ones to restore and enjoy more harmony
It’s the alchemy of healthy relationship. This happens when all our defenses are shorn away and we see they are truly unnecessary.
Learning to Connect
Dan Siegel said in a workshop I attended a few years ago that ‘learning to connect’ is humanity’s new frontier. The onslaught of screen use and technology exacerbate our difficulties finding the common ground of attentive listening. Most of us have experienced the trauma of a broken connection with someone who mattered to us.
We could all use enhanced skills when it comes to strengthening our relational acuity—even the most socially adept among us. Imagine a world where we understood how to respectfully approach differing needs, how to be open even when we don’t agree on every topic, and how to find the resolution that best serves our community.
I find the key to integrating new patterns hinges on our ability to sit in states of wellbeing, to take in the good. In my new CD set Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships, I talk about ways to resurrect our availability for delight and to make the leap from endurance to enjoyment.
To paraphrase Anaïs Nin, it takes risk to blossom. It takes more risk than staying locked in our tight, virtual realities. The lack of real intimacy terrifies us, but the promise of true intimacy often terrifies us more.
Order now: Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Diane Poole Heller
P.S. Everyone in my tribe who orders this audiobook also gets four free gifts, including:
- Language of Attachment PDF
- Attachment Quiz
- Kind Eyes Exercise
- Live Q & A call to answer all your questions