We often associate intimacy with the bedroom and physical acts of affection. It is helpful, however, to participate in intimacy foreplay before diving between the sheets. The connection that non-sexual intimacy fosters deepens connection and can enhance the physical pleasure of both partners when it’s time for sex.

Appreciate the Small Things

Day-to-day life has a way of casting a shadow over our perception of our relationships, making it easy to focus on what your partner is not doing. Try appreciating and looking for the small acts of kindness from your partner not only makes them feel appreciated, but also generates more positive feelings about your partner and encourages more of the same.

When you search your relationship for the small everyday treasures, you may find them everywhere.

Touch Your Partner Warmly

Why reserve physical touch for the bedroom? If you and your partner both have careers or children (or both!) your “together” moments can feel fleeting. Each moment with your partner is an opportunity to connect, even if it’s not a particularly special event.

Making dinner or running to the grocery store often feels like drudgery. A warm, affectionate touch to their arm or the small of their back turns daily chores into an opportunity for deeper intimacy. It also lets your partner know you are present with them. Use warm touch as a way to say, “I’m here with you.”

Look into Your Partner’s Eyes

When is the last time you looked deeply into your partner’s eyes? Twenty seconds of presence through eye contact can connect and arouse both of you. Life is busy, and eye contact is a nourishing way to greet one another. It gives you and your partner a way to support one another without having to speak a single word.

Try a fun and valuable bit of homework: Practice Diane’s Kind Eyes exercise with your lover.

If You Look for Trouble, You Will Find It

Your focus becomes your reality. If you zero in on your lover’s shortcomings, it becomes all you can see. None of us is perfect. We have good and bad days. Giving a little leeway to be human, and looking at the big picture can heal a bad attitude about your relationship.

Better yet, call or text your sweetheart to let them know you are thinking of them.

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