Long-term romantic relationships often end up in the complacency lane on life’s highway. Connection remains important and steering your partnership back to an intimate place does not necessarily require a grand gesture such as an island vacation. Try one of these easy (and free) ways to reconnect with your beloved to restore that feeling of closeness.
Sit at the Table for Dinner
It’s easy to plop down in front of the television for your evening meal. You might turn on the news and tune one another out or lose yourself in the sitcom of the hour. By eating in front of the television, not only are you squandering valuable together time, but you are also not eating mindfully, which may result in over-consuming.
Instead, sit across from one another at the table and share stories about your day. What seems mundane to you may help your partner understand the pressures and celebrations you face while you’re apart.
Extra credit: Don’t bring your phone to the table.
Look in Each Others Eyes for One Minute
When is the last time you looked into your partner’s eyes? Diane Poole Heller calls this loving and simple way to connect Kind Eyes, and it can draw you close to your loved one in a way that few other activities can. Surely, you can each spare a minute to remember the beauty you saw there when you first fell in love.
It may feel awkward at first, or it might just stoke the fires for romance time!
Hug Away the Stress of the Day
From the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep, we encounter numerous stresses that create tension, anxiety, and self-doubt. When greeting one another for the first time after a long day, take a few moments to hug your partner.
Hold one another naturally and feel the breath you share. Hold your embrace until you feel your partner’s shoulders relax and breathing slow down. This is a nice way to get back in the same space after being apart all day.
Sit Next to One Another and Hold Hands
Everyone has a favorite comfy chair or spot on the sofa. Instead, consider sitting side-by-side and holding hands. If it’s late in the evening, share a blanket for some extra snuggles.
You can also hold hands on your after-dinner walk. Who doesn’t say, “awww” when they see couples walking down the street hand-in-hand? There is a reason we love to see connection – because we crave it!
Share a Hand Massage
Smartphones, laptops, and driving take a toll on the muscles and tendons in your hands. Grab some lotion or oil and take turns massaging your love’s hands and allowing them to massage yours. This is a good exercise for practicing the balance of giving and receiving.
Join Us Live in February!
Would you like to learn more about the neuroscience of connection? Discover why being close gives us that delicious feeling we all crave.
Patti Elledge is presenting DARe 3 – The Neurobiology of Loving Relationships in Boulder, Colorado February 6-8, 2018. Or, if you prefer a comprehensive approach to Attachment, you might consider our Certificate Program.
We look forward to welcoming you!