Individuals with the Ambivalent, or Anxious, Attachment adaptation cling tightly to love once they acquire it. Entering into a relationship, for our Ambivalent clients, instantly creates an underlying feeling of anxiety and fear and they will willingly, often subconsciously, make enormous sacrifices to hold tightly to love.
Their most significant concern is loss or rejection of the love they so desperately crave. Because of this, people with the Ambivalent adaptation will work double-time to stay in the good graces, or approval in their intimate relationships.
Identifying Approval Addiction
Are you approval addicted? Do you…
Say yes out of fear of disappointing others?
Fish for compliments or words of encouragement?
Put others’ needs before your own?
Have trouble identifying your own needs?
Exhaust yourself “making others happy?”
Compromise your values or beliefs to avoid rocking the boat?
As humans, we all want the approval and acceptance of those closest to us. People with the Ambivalent adaptation often take this to the extreme, sacrificing everything to make relationships feel smooth and stable.
What Can You Do to Move Toward Secure Attachment?
Fortunately, we can learn to develop Secure Attachment characteristics and enjoy more peace and equality in the relationship arena.
Learn to articulate your own needs
Recognize where your anxiety comes from (and why)
Enter into an intimate partnership with a Securely Attached individual