3 Reasons Why People Shut Down Emotionally

Loving someone who shuts down, stonewalls you, or simply will not communicate, causes a quandary, particularly if you can tell by their lack of engagement that something is going on deep below the surface. Alternatively, if you have shut down emotionally yourself, you might review some of the following reasons why people close themselves off and [...]

Attachment Injury – You Are Not Broken

The human brain adapts and adjusts in order to keep you safe. Attachment adaptations often cause people to feel “damaged” or “broken,” which misrepresents what the brain is really doing to protect its keeper. Attachment adaptations occur in early childhood when disruptions between the caregiver and child relationships interrupt Secure Attachment and are a necessary coping [...]

3 Behaviors That Contribute to Avoidant Attachment Injury

Those of us who are Avoidantly Attached tend to avoid emotional challenges by avoiding them – either checking out mentally or even walking away. If you or someone you love lives with Avoidant Adaptation, you might be wondering where and how this developed. Avoidantly Attached individuals often did not have their needs met as children, either [...]

Use of Narrative to Evaluate Attachment Patterning

Narrative and Secure Attachment Secure Attachment languaging is often easiest because of left and right brain integration. Primarily Securely Attached individuals may have characteristics of Attachment adaptations from time-to-time. Working with clients with different Attachment styles requires fluidity in languaging in order to help our clients (or ourselves) move toward Secure. Narrative and Avoidant Attachment The [...]

Video Blog: Avoidant Attachment Adaptation and How We Work with Them in DARe Trainings

                DARe stands for Dynamic Attachment Re-patterning experience, which is a series of four module-style trainings that address Attachment as it affects our lives and the lives of our clients. These trainings are available live, on DVD, and soon to be offered online. DARe is designed to help us [...]

Securing Holiday Joy – Happy Holidays 2016!

Happy holidays! Though this is a season of festivities for many, it can also be a stressful time that invites unwelcome triggers to your table. For the upcoming holidays, let’s focus on transformation and welcoming the joy of Secure Attachment to our celebration. You may find the challenges and practices below useful. Attachment Style – Avoidant [...]

Avoidant: Kind Eyes Exercise

Imagine you are looking out into the world and seeing kind eyes looking back at you. Perhaps you remember a time you showed up unexpected at a friend’s door, and they opened the door truly delighted to see YOU! What happens in and around your eyes, your body, your emotional state? This guy, the Dalai Lama, has been [...]

Avoidant & Needs: Corrective Strategies

Avoidants want someone in the house—just not in the same room! Expertly noted by Dr. Stan Tatkin throughout this blog from his publication: I Want You In The House, Just Not In My Room... Unless I Ask You: The Plight of The Avoidantly Attached Partner in Couples Therapy. The other thing that’s a hallmark for an [...]

Primer on Attachment Styles

In the DARE model I developed 8 years ago, I became completely passionate about working to heal in the relational field. I feel that, especially when it comes to healing adult relationships, so much depends on the presence of the therapist, as I’m very aware of the fact that it is virtually impossible to integrate really [...]

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