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Each Holiday Season I like to send out my favorite list of the small BIG things that can enrich our relationships. If you have something to add, I would love to hear from you.

I am also putting all my DVDs on sale, with a special gift – since we are often so concerned about others, we forget to nurture Screen Shot 2013-12-20 at 4.18.52 PMourselves…  25% off on all my home study DVDS until December 27th plus for orders over $149 offering a free DVD on Intimacy, Sensuality & Sexuality.  Use Coupon Code LOVE25.  Click here to visit my store.

So here’s this year’s list:

  1. Send your loved one a Beam Gleam!
    This is a wonderful way to say “I love You and You Are Special to Me” and establish a deeper connection with the ones you love – one of the techniques I teach in the Healing Early Attachment Wounds module I of the DARe/SATe program. You can do it with your partner, friend, child, even with your pet!!! Here’s a link to the“Kind Eyes” exercise, which enhances our innate ability to connect with others.
  2. Got Oxytocin? Share Hugs
    We don’t get enough hugs! Hugs stimulate the release of the “bonding hormone” Oxytocin, promoting intimacy and dissolving anxiety. Increase your contact nutrition! Non-fattening and very satisfying. Initiate, Hug, and repeat. Watch this video for inspiration!
  3. Increase your Play Time! 
    Plan to have quality time to spend with your special ones.
 Couples, or parents and children, should try to doubletheir playtime – or make sure they have at least one day a week dedicated to play. I love this quote:
    “Young Souls Play Hard to Get
    Mature Souls Play Hard
    but Old Souls Just Play – La, La, La…”
    The Universe
  4. Give Gifts the Way Your Partner Likes to Receive Them.
    We all have different ways we like to receive and give love. Learn more about this in DARe 1 – Healing Early Attachment WoundsDare 2 – Creating Healthy Adult Relationships, and the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
  5. Make a Date with Yourself
    Nurture yourself with some personal “alone time” to contemplate your New Year’s vision. Having time alone is important to recharge and reconnect with your inner center. In DARe 3 – The Neurobiology of Loving Relationships we learn that people have too little uninterrupted time to have an intimate connection with their core Selves and source.
  6. Be with Friends and Family that You Love
    Being with others affirms our belonging. Part of Secure Attachment is an easy flow between aloneness and connection. Learn how to find this balance of being alone and with others in DARe 3 – The Neurobiology of Loving Relationships.
  7. Find Your Voice to Sing Your Heart Out in Togetherness
    Here is a lovely example of a community sing-out that you will love: SINGING TRIBUTE IN THE MARKETPLACE.
  8. Make a Sincere Apology or Repair a Broken Bridge
    John Gottman’s research tells us that people who make repair have an 80% more chance to experience well-being in their relationship in a sustainable way. Practice this in all of the DARe workshops.
  9. Give three positive, affirming gifts of love each day. Verbal or non-verbal. Pay attention to unspoken signals and notice the results.
  10. Turn off your computer and TV – make personal contact
    “Real” contact can be much more nourishing than “virtual”, as much as we value our email, Facebook, and Skype exchanges. We got so used to technology that sometimes we need a reminder to include the nourishment of authentic, face-to-face connection, hearing the sound of our loved one’s voices, or giving and receiving safe touch.
  11. List Best Things that Happened to you this year and Keep This Resource with You
    This is a great exercise to learn the art of Gratefulness, which has the added benefit of expanding our capacity to give and receive. Keep this list handy in your purse or wallet. Read. Smile.
  12. Share Hugs
    I know it was mentioned earlier in the list, but it’s so crucial to make sure no one forgets this one. Hugs to all of you.



One Comment

  1. […] works to help adults heal difficult attachment patterns. In her blog this week, entitled ‘Santa’s 12 Tips for a Securely Attached Christmas’,  she makes some of the following suggestions for ‘small BIG things that you can do to enhance […]

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