ASD-AM 2: J.G. Ambivalent Attachment and Healing the Heart – Genital Split

ASD-AM 2: J.G. Ambivalent Attachment and Healing the Heart – Genital Split


DVD, ~1 hour inc. 30–45 min. discussion



DVD, ~1 hour inc. 30–45 min. discussion

J.’s Mother wanted to stay home with him after his birth but had to return to work when he was just 6 months. His grandfather had just died and he never knew his father. His mother was only available intermittently due to work and his grandmother was a more stable contact but had infrequent psychotic episodes.

J. notices 2 types of relational patterns as an adult. The first one reflects a heart connection similar to the relationship he remembers with his grandmother, and the second shows up in intimate relationships where he often becomes passionately preoccupied with the other and tends to lose himself. The latter pattern of “here today, gone tomorrow” availability mixed with eroticism, he associates with his relationship with his mother. Potentially he wants to love and feel passionate in the same relationship.

High activation is often bound in the body through splitting. We work the edge of many splits during the session including the body’s right-left split, a top-bottom split, the self and other split and the heart-genital split. We work to discharge the disappointment of the past and his body integrates into wholeness. By the end of the session he feels both his heart and pelvis connected at the same time as he comes into contact with me and the group at large.

Teaching points:

  1. Working with understanding the effects of the corrective experiences as well as using them in dealing directly with attachment disruptions.
  2. Working to heal the heart – genital split so common to adult relationships where one can feel heartfelt love and stability with one person without passionate engagement, or conversely, in another relationship the person can feel totally passionate but disconnected from the stability, love and safety of the heart.
  3. How to honor the body’s need for intelligent pacing and time to settle.
  4. Opening up discharge channels in the body so that the high arousal related to physical splitting in the body releases and resolves. Remembering to “work the edge” of splits that reflect high arousal.
  5. Emphasizing the self-regulation that strengthens in the context of the interactive regulation in the session
  6. Reinforcing John’s capacity to stay in contact with himself – while at the same time – making contact with me or the group. Developing this capacity is an antidote to the leaving of oneself typical of ambivalent attachment dynamics. This is evidence of the secure attachment resurfacing.
  7. Keeping the adult ego state available as we accessed encapsulated early memory of the 4 yr. old and worked to integrate it with adult consciousness.
  8. Moving time forward to become more fully a mature adult living in the present.

Additional information

Weight .5 lbs
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