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3 Telltale Signs of Secure Attachment

Genuinely connected partners will be the first to admit that their relationships are not perfect, but individuals with Secure Attachment share many characteristics, making it possible to manage the challenges that arise constructively. Here are 3 of the many signs that you and your partner share Secure Attachment. #1 You Both Feel Comfortable Being Your Authentic [...]

5 Habits of Securely Attached Couples

Securely Attached couples share deep connection and intimacy with their partners based on trust that you will consistently meet one another's needs. Turning toward your partner when they ask for your attention or affection is one of the greatest strengths in an intimate relationship according to the Gottman Relationships Research Institute. Here are 5 additional habits [...]

3 Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic (and Gain Secure Attachment)

Even if you are a cheerleader for your loved ones, you might be overly critical of yourself. Your inner critic will override all accomplishments and milestones you achieve if you let it. We often speak to ourselves so cruelly, using language we would never talk to another person. Secure Attachment and the Inner Critic Silencing your [...]

Adoption at Birth and Attachment Disruption

Attachment begins in the womb as bonding between birthmothers and their unborn children begin. What happens when the infant is adopted at birth and does it impact Attachment in children and young adults? Some studies show that even when children are placed with a loving birth family from birth that Attachment disruptions can occur, resulting in [...]

Ambivalent Adaptation and Approval Addiction

Individuals with the Ambivalent, or Anxious, Attachment adaptation cling tightly to love once they acquire it. Entering into a relationship, for our Ambivalent clients, instantly creates an underlying feeling of anxiety and fear and they will willingly, often subconsciously, make enormous sacrifices to hold tightly to love. Their most significant concern is loss or rejection of [...]

Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

For those who don’t know me, I'm a psychotherapist specializing in trauma recovery and the healing of early Attachment wounds, specifically how they later affect our adult relationships. I’ve been teaching for several decades, seen over 1,400 clients, and traveled all over the world to share what I consider essential lessons and tools for relationships: Most of [...]

Why You Need a Roadmap to Secure Attachment

Trauma and Secure Attachment are like oil and water. As Robert Jay Lifton says, “Trauma is broken connection.” The question at the heart of my work is how to repair broken connection. In my new CD set, Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships, I dive deep into my explorations and [...]

The Brain’s Negativity Bias and Its Influence on Secure Attachment

Because human brains prioritize survival – fight, flight, and freeze responses play a role in our daily lives, which can impact our ability to develop Secure Attachment both as children and as adults. Negative or threatening experiences register quickly into our long-term memories due to the ever-vigilant amygdala. The amygdala is responsible for our survival responses [...]

3 Ways Attachment Injuries Undermine Your Life

Having an Attachment injury can feel like you’re lugging around a forty-pound weight everywhere you go. This may prevent you from fully enjoying life, or even cause you to make poor decisions regarding your future happiness. There is good news, however; we can heal our Attachment injuries in adulthood. Here are three ways that Attachment injuries [...]