Relationships

Integrating or “Disintegrating” the Experience of Anger or Fear

One of  the  things  that I  find interestingly  helpful when somebody is really stuck in what I call a "rage  cycle"  and I mean really stuck  in  it, is to  ask  them, “Is this Integrating for you or is it Disintegrating?”   And, so far   almost  everybody  has  been  able  to  answer  that question. If  they [...]

Video 5: Disorganized Attachment In Couples

In the last video, we talked about disorganized attachment in individuals. This time I'll answer your questions about dealing with couples when both partners have a disorganized attachment pattern. This final video will cover topics including: 1) How disorganized attachment develops 2) Down-regulating yourself and your partner 3) Spending individual time with each partner in a [...]

Avoidant: Kind Eyes Exercise

Imagine you are looking out into the world and seeing kind eyes looking back at you. Perhaps you remember a time you showed up unexpected at a friend’s door, and they opened the door truly delighted to see YOU! What happens in and around your eyes, your body, your emotional state? This guy, the Dalai Lama, has been [...]

Avoidant & Needs: Corrective Strategies

Avoidants want someone in the house—just not in the same room! Expertly noted by Dr. Stan Tatkin throughout this blog from his publication: I Want You In The House, Just Not In My Room... Unless I Ask You: The Plight of The Avoidantly Attached Partner in Couples Therapy. The other thing that’s a hallmark for an [...]

Santa’s Tips for a Securely Attached Christmas

  Each holiday season I like to send out my favorite list of the small BIG things that can enrich our relationships. If you have something to add, I would love to hear from you please comment below! I am also putting all my DVDs on sale, with a special gift since we are often so [...]

Recipes for L.O.V.E.

Every relationship can at times be difficult to navigate, but the one thing that can always be relied upon to build on, restore, nurture your attachment is LOVE. I thought of giving you some essential tips, made easy to remember by using L.O.V.E. as acronym for a few simple and effective implements that can keep your [...]

John Chitty & Diane: Creating a Resilient Child From Birth

Topics Include: Babies are Sentient, far more intelligent and impressionable than modern medicine seems to believe The Birth experience is a template for lifelong autonomic nervous system resiliency Baby is a hitchhiker on mom’s autonomic nervous system: tend to moms effectively and babies will respond Use the two-chair method to communicate with Babies Archetypal Yin and Yang [...]

Santa’s 12 Tips for a Securely Attached Christmas!

Each Holiday Season I like to send out my favorite list of the small BIG things that can enrich our relationships. If you have something to add, I would love to hear from you. I am also putting all my DVDs on sale, with a special gift – since we are often so concerned about others, we forget [...]