Relationships

What Is the Greatest Secret to Relationship Success?

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to have the best relationships while you and your partner keep having the same arguments over and over? Do you wish to be completely understood and to deeply satisfy yourself and your partner emotionally? Do you love your partner but often feel like you are not as connected [...]

INdependence, DEpendence, and INTERdependence

Happy 4th of July to YOU! But what about celebrating our nation’s Independence Day might also be relevant for our work in healing Attachment?   We are a culture that believes deeply in pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. This overdeveloped sense of self-efficacy seeps into our families and parenting preferences. Bonnie Badenoch, co-founder of Nurturing [...]

Attachment, Trauma & Intimacy Conference: Boulder April 8-10, 2016

I believe that psychotherapy is going through an evolutionary upgrade. And although human beings have been working on healing in different ways for thousands of years, many recent discoveries and systems are helping us understand healing in a way that was never possible. While the foundation of my work is primarily with Attachment and Trauma Resolution, it is exciting to find new [...]

Happy Valentine’s Day from Diane Poole Heller

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy this video. Valentine's Day is a celebration of our capacity to love. To ensure you're getting and giving the greatest gourmet contact nutrition on this special day, remember: Be conscious of your voice: Choose and use a melodic and soothing voice. Incorporate touch: Touch is the way we communicate [...]

Thanksgiving Video Message from Diane

I really want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving!  Hope you enjoy this video. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, because really it's all about giving thanks for how much we have. It's about spending time with our loved ones, our family, and our friends. Hopefully you're getting a chance to get together with people that you care [...]

Video Blog: Bullying

Bullying is a form of aggression, and it sometimes appears in Disorganized Attachment. How can you help your clients handle their own aggression (and aggression in others) in a compassionate, healthy way? In this video, we'll examine: Viewing aggression through the lens of attachment Symptoms of bullying in relationships How a child's brain learns to adapt [...]

The Power of Prosody: Tone of Voice & the Attachment System

Tone of voice, or prosody, is a huge part of how your Attachment system works. Tone of voice can trigger the amygdala immediately — it’s designed to be an instant danger signal. What happens in women's voices when they get activated or they see danger? They get shrill. That’s like a siren call back to tribal [...]

9 Quick Start Tips for Integrating “Disorganized” Into Your Practice

QUICK START TIPS and Goals for Integrating Module 4(DISORGANIZED/DISORIENTED/TYPE D) Into Your Lifeand PracticeGoals: Safety First Then Mobilization from Immobilization ASAP! Installing a “Competent Protector”: Watch this Cougar vs. Bear Cub video  It helps to reinforce the reality of “protective energy” to remind the client that ultimately the baby bear will be alright (There's an excellent surprise [...]