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So far tim coyle has created 134 blog entries.

Ambivalent Adaptation and Approval Addiction

Individuals with the Ambivalent, or Anxious, Attachment adaptation cling tightly to love once they acquire it. Entering into a relationship, for our Ambivalent clients, instantly creates an underlying feeling of anxiety and fear and they will willingly, often subconsciously, make enormous sacrifices to hold tightly to love. Their most significant concern is loss or rejection of [...]

Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

For those who don’t know me, I'm a psychotherapist specializing in trauma recovery and the healing of early Attachment wounds, specifically how they later affect our adult relationships. I’ve been teaching for several decades, seen over 1,400 clients, and traveled all over the world to share what I consider essential lessons and tools for relationships: Most of [...]

Why You Need a Roadmap to Secure Attachment

Trauma and Secure Attachment are like oil and water. As Robert Jay Lifton says, “Trauma is broken connection.” The question at the heart of my work is how to repair broken connection. In my new CD set, Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships, I dive deep into my explorations and [...]

Connection: Humanity’s New Frontier

Let’s explore the territory of what happens in secure connection when you successfully embody it. When you are settled in the safe haven of Secure Attachment, you have the capacity for presence, you are protective of yourself and your relationship, and you enjoy playfulness with your partner and kids. Secure Attachment With Secure Attachment as your [...]

6 Tips to Avoid Holiday Stress

Holidays are a time for celebrations with family. Time with family creates some of the most memorable holiday experiences as we recall warm moments of cooking family recipes, following traditions, and bringing up old Attachment issues. For many people, celebrating with family brings up both the warm memories and the painful ones. Nothing can make a [...]

Is it Possible to Heal Your Own Attachment Wounds?

In the Digital Age, the search for information and tools for self-healing have opened the door for people to improve their own lives and wellbeing independent of formal assistance. While nothing can replace the relationship between the individual and therapist, many people feel more comfortable researching and taking the first steps on their own. Acknowledging Attachment [...]

The Brain’s Negativity Bias and Its Influence on Secure Attachment

Because human brains prioritize survival – fight, flight, and freeze responses play a role in our daily lives, which can impact our ability to develop Secure Attachment both as children and as adults. Negative or threatening experiences register quickly into our long-term memories due to the ever-vigilant amygdala. The amygdala is responsible for our survival responses [...]

Five Fun (& Free!) Ways to Connect with Your Partner

Long-term romantic relationships often end up in the complacency lane on life’s highway. Connection remains important and steering your partnership back to an intimate place does not necessarily require a grand gesture such as an island vacation. Try one of these easy (and free) ways to reconnect with your beloved to restore that feeling of closeness. [...]

How Mistakes Can Help Your Child’s Development

Raising a perfect child is impossible – almost as impossible as being the perfect parent. Here is why your child’s mistakes are an essential part of their development. Parenting and Secure Attachment Secure Attachment depends upon both connection and time away from their caregiver. This ebb and flow develops resiliency and grit. If you notice when [...]

3 Tips for Greater Self-Love

It seems like a no-brainer – put yourself at the top of your own priorities. So, why does it seem like our own needs and desires slowly trickle back to the bottom of our daily tasks? It’s a common problem, especially among people who are natural givers. It is important to remember, however, that in order [...]