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So far tim coyle has created 139 blog entries.

Understanding Learned Helplessness

Explained in 1965 by Martin Seligman, learned helplessness is characterized by feeling unable to alter outcomes despite taking action to do so. Though Seligman’s research involved dogs, continuing studies related learned helplessness to human behavior. Repeated exposure to a negative experience or trauma that results in the belief that the situation will not change no matter [...]

3 Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic (and Gain Secure Attachment)

Even if you are a cheerleader for your loved ones, you might be overly critical of yourself. Your inner critic will override all accomplishments and milestones you achieve if you let it. We often speak to ourselves so cruelly, using language we would never talk to another person. Secure Attachment and the Inner Critic Silencing your [...]

What Is DARe?

DARe (Dynamic Attachment Re-patterning experience) is a series of live or recorded programs designed to help individuals and therapists gain a competent understanding of Attachment theory, Attachment disruptions, and healing methods to repair Attachment injury and trauma. DARe consists of four modules. The first module is a pre-requisite for all others because it contains the foundational [...]

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are So Hard to Keep

If you have ever set a New Year’s resolution, you have probably noticed that by February, the momentum of your original motivation begins to wane or disappears altogether. Professor Peter Herman of the University of Toronto explains that our expectations when making New Year’s resolutions are often unrealistic and out of alignment with how we see [...]

Adoption at Birth and Attachment Disruption

Attachment begins in the womb as bonding between birthmothers and their unborn children begin. What happens when the infant is adopted at birth and does it impact Attachment in children and young adults? Some studies show that even when children are placed with a loving birth family from birth that Attachment disruptions can occur, resulting in [...]

Ambivalent Adaptation and Approval Addiction

Individuals with the Ambivalent, or Anxious, Attachment adaptation cling tightly to love once they acquire it. Entering into a relationship, for our Ambivalent clients, instantly creates an underlying feeling of anxiety and fear and they will willingly, often subconsciously, make enormous sacrifices to hold tightly to love. Their most significant concern is loss or rejection of [...]

Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

For those who don’t know me, I'm a psychotherapist specializing in trauma recovery and the healing of early Attachment wounds, specifically how they later affect our adult relationships. I’ve been teaching for several decades, seen over 1,400 clients, and traveled all over the world to share what I consider essential lessons and tools for relationships: Most of [...]

Why You Need a Roadmap to Secure Attachment

Trauma and Secure Attachment are like oil and water. As Robert Jay Lifton says, “Trauma is broken connection.” The question at the heart of my work is how to repair broken connection. In my new CD set, Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships, I dive deep into my explorations and [...]

Connection: Humanity’s New Frontier

Let’s explore the territory of what happens in secure connection when you successfully embody it. When you are settled in the safe haven of Secure Attachment, you have the capacity for presence, you are protective of yourself and your relationship, and you enjoy playfulness with your partner and kids. Secure Attachment With Secure Attachment as your [...]

6 Tips to Avoid Holiday Stress

Holidays are a time for celebrations with family. Time with family creates some of the most memorable holiday experiences as we recall warm moments of cooking family recipes, following traditions, and bringing up old Attachment issues. For many people, celebrating with family brings up both the warm memories and the painful ones. Nothing can make a [...]